To Escape The Darkness
by Kyuubi no Kitsune0101
Summary: All he saw was darkness creeping towards them. He feared that darkness and wanted to escape. He wanted that freedom with the only person that would understand the fear. He wanted and received. KakaNaru Yaoi warning Companion to: To See The Light


**This runs alongside **_**To See The Light**_** and deals with Naruto's inner conflicts and thoughts while TSTL dealt with Kakashi's.**

**Disclaimer: I, for one, do not own the anime/manga known as Naruto because if I did, nobody would read it.**

Naruto doesn't answer the shouting man that slit his arm again. He was trained better than this. Never would he release the information. As the man shouted at him, he thought of Kakashi, Sasuke, and Sakura being safe. He almost laughed at that thought because all he wanted was for them to be safe. Only they deserved safety. Naruto didn't make any noise as they attached leather bands to his wrists and ankles. They burned into his skin almost immediately, hungry for chakra. He said nothing when they dragged him to a cell and threw him onto of a soft body. Oh god no. He felt sick when he saw silver hair.

"Brat, you better give up those passwords. You and oldie there better soon or you'll both die," the shouting man said. Naruto shook and prayed that the man would leave quickly. He was relieved at the noise of the lock sliding into place and the fading footsteps. They were alone. All alone. Naruto started to cry because he couldn't even prevent his precious people's capture. He didn't know what was going on in Kakashi's mind. He barely felt calloused fingers on his wrists, looking at the bands. Naruto knew what they were, but he didn't like to admit it.

Time was lost to Naruto in the cell because nobody spoke about the day. He didn't talk because he was afraid of the shouting man hearing and finding a reason to beat him. Kakashi now wears the chakra represents too, and Naruto can't look at them without feeling sick and weak. Without either of them noticing, years could've gone by. The shouting man's friends sometimes gave them ice cold baths and shave the hair off their heads, but they took their old clothes and gave them ratty cotton pants. Naruto forced his eyes into seeing Kakashi with hair because Kakashi looks like an alien without it due to several old wounds on the Jonin's skull. Naruto wished that he didn't look too bad because he didn't want Kakashi repulsed by him. Even though Kakashi's mask was gone, Naruto didn't care about seeing the face because it wouldn't help them out. He didn't say anything because the silence is safe.

It's another torture session, but this time, the shouting man's friends take them both. Naruto doesn't care what happens because he's realized that might not make it out of here alive. The only thing on his mind is smiling. The last time he saw Kakashi smile was his third session; he stopped after the first. One day, Naruto is sure they'll forgive Konoha for the abandonment, but they were grudge holding children anymore. Childhood was traded in for the hitai-ate, which were taken away. The friends didn't like them. Naruto didn't care about the pain he received as they strapped him into a new chair, and he doesn't realize that they're hooking wire up to his body. His body is numb, and he isn't there. He's trying to remember what these men are after and what Konoha looks like because he doesn't remember. When Kakashi screams through the first wave, Naruto is stoic. He stared at Kakashi and hated himself for being weak. His screams never make it past his lips because Naruto doesn't let them.

One day, Konoha finally came for them. Naruto had gotten used to being held by Kakashi at night because he felt some of the pain and fears go off into the distance. The shouting man's friends were the disguise Konoha took and made it appeared like they were going to another chair session. The passwords were long forgotten by Naruto along with the faces of friends. When Kakashi grabbed his hand tightly, Naruto took it as a goodbye because the men were probably tired of this game. The blinding light of the sweet outdoors was almost like a miracle. Two medics were right outside for them, and they wore Konoha hitai-ate, the only thing Naruto remembered. One of the medics has pink hair that makes Naruto think of babies and flowers as he doesn't notice her tears. The friends turn themselves back into a feral man with funny upside down red triangles on his cheeks and a dark haired man with hurt eyes. They're so familiar that Naruto started crying. He collapsed next to Kakashi and never let go of the other's hand because he was taking Kakashi with him no matter what.

"Oh, Kakashi-sensei! Naruto! We're so sorry!" the pink haired girl shouted as they passed out. When Naruto awoke, he was in the hospital. The chakra bands are gone because he can feel his chakra again. Everything feels funny now. He sighed and climbed out of his bed and stood by Kakashi's. Kakashi woke up and lifted up the blanket. Naruto climbed in Kakashi's bed because the shadows, and loneliness, and darkness are still our fears. Behind Naruto's closed eyelids, he sees broken memories flickering like a broken movie. The blonde is sure the same thing is happening to Kakashi, but not a word comes from them. They don't laugh or cry because it didn't help. The only sound they have is the sound of breathing, living, and freedom. Sweet freedom.

Naruto found out from Tsunade that they were in captivity like animals for two years and were moved around quite a lot. He doesn't remember the moving part, but he just figured it was done while they were asleep or a jutsu. He actually threw up whenever he found out that the password he had was fake because Sakura and Sasuke had the real ones. Naruto took to never leaving Kakashi alone because they don't understand a lot of things. Naruto hates shirts because he doesn't understand what it's like to wear actual clothes. Naruto refused and would rip the clothes to shreds at first, but with Kakashi's help, he got used to it again. Everybody noticed when they no longer wore their hitai-ate on their foreheads. Naruto personally likes seeing Kakashi in an eye patch, but he's uncomfortable with weight on his head. Naruto and Kakashi don't talk at all, but somehow, someway they can understand each other.

"Talk damn it!" Sakura shouted, which makes Naruto wince and flinch away from her. He's being coaxed into eating ramen again, but he couldn't eat more than a bowl without throwing up. Kakashi and him have bad stomachs now because they would go weeks with little, bad food. Naruto's only reassurance outside their apartment is Kakashi's warm hand that never lets go. "You need to talk. It's been a year, and I can't believe I miss you two talking. I miss the idiocy and the wisdom. I hate that you two aren't you anymore. I hate it. Please talk." Sasuke is right next to her, and he isn't talking either. His reasoning is that he's watching them, something that makes Naruto's anxieties go way up.

"Sorry," Kakashi said. Naruto is shocked at the voice, broken and whisper like from three years of retirement. The ramen is forgotten, and Naruto wished it was gone because he feels like puking. He tightens his grip on Kakashi's hand and watches Kakashi close his eye. What is he thinking of? By the way Kakashi's fingers are slack Naruto would have to say of happier days. The Jonin doesn't speak again, which is okay with Sakura, who is now a new goal. She wanted them to eat more than once a week, which is about all their stomach could handle. Naruto doesn't bother discouraging her, but he doesn't want to encourage her. His mind is on missions, which they weren't allowed on because of potential breakdowns. They're eighteen and thirty-two. They shouldn't be like this at all.

Naruto changed their normal silent routine as he read a letter from Gaara. He laughed a short, sweet, _innocent _laugh. That set off a change reaction. Kakashi began to talk a bit more, but it was nothing more than short responses to questions. Naruto laughed at anything funny. They're in the healing process now, and Sakura is happier when they eat twice a week. She's not ready to give up; none of their friends want her to. Even their other friends are getting more involved. Naruto has been given offers to train with the old team he once followed on a trip to retrieve Sasuke. He declines with a shake of his head most of the time. Other times, it ends up with Naruto watching. Everything they eat is ramen because Naruto isn't Naruto to anyone without it, and it's also the only thing that they can't keep down. Naruto felt Kakashi holding him and softly whispering soothing words as he pukes. He doesn't deal with his crazy hair anymore because they keep their hair neatly trimmed. Naruto can't have anything close to his face without feeling like he's being suffocated. He coughed and doesn't puke for very long, and Kakashi is there to wipe away the tears that follow. Naruto is afraid of the future that is so dark.

After another year, Tsunade sent Kakashi away on a mission because Kakashi is the faster healer. Naruto isn't good with trauma, but they've learned again what it's like to eat four times a week, not in the same day. They're still adjusting to ramen because Naruto can't keep it down after half a bowl. Naruto started talking again, but he doesn't go beyond the small responses. He cries only to Kakashi in private because the fears of loneliness, darkness, and shadows are still around. Naruto is so afraid of losing Kakashi that he feels like he's being chocked; he's relieved when Kakashi comes home. He had spent the entire time huddled in the bedroom corner with all the lights on. Kakashi is the only one able to get him to come out; all he had to do was hold out his hand and smile. It's weird to see them without their hitai-ate tied to their foreheads, Naruto's grin, and Kakashi's famous mask. Everybody hopes that, in time, Naruto and Kakashi will be back to normal. Most are frightened of the scars that decorate their skin. Naruto is never angry at the Kyuubi because he stares at the scars and remembers being taken out into the light. Thankfully, Kakashi and Sasuke never use the Chidori around Naruto because Naruto starts crying and shaking terribly out of fear. It's funny how electricity is their enemy and friend. They survive though.

"Naruto, let's go. We're going to be late," Kakashi said. Naruto sighed and fixed his tie. He's twenty-one and is a Jonin (hopefully ANBU), and everybody is surprised that he hasn't hit the bottle. Naruto hates his suit, but for his adoptive brother, he'll wear it. "Do you want Sakura to hurt us?" Naruto rolled his eyes and walked out of the bedroom and smiled at Kakashi, who smiles back. Whenever Kakashi smiles, Naruto feels like the world is just right and nothing can go wrong. Naruto took Kakashi's outstretched hand and felt whole again. It took four years for them to be able to hold conversations with more than one word answers, to eat twice almost every day, and to sleep without lights. They still hold hands, wear their hitai-ate on their thighs, and hate masks. Naruto's heart fluttered when Kakashi kissed his forehead and laughed. "Maybe we should get married next?" Naruto laughed and wonders silently who would wear the dress. His response is a shrug at first due to habit.

"Sakura would have way too much fun. She's like a mother to us. It's scary sometimes," Naruto said as they left the apartment. The stares from the unfamiliar people are ignored because none of their friends care if they held hands. Everyone on the rescue team could remember that they came out into the sunlight holding hands. They remembered the tears shed and the relief, but neither of them were angry with the village. Naruto had gone through a depressed stage with Kakashi where they only hated themselves. "Kakashi, promise me that you'll never leave me." Naruto is happy with just a nod and a kiss. He feels Kakashi's fingers in his hair, which makes him smile. They never cut their hair too short because they're both ugly bald. "Let's go see Sasuke look happy." Naruto started dragging Kakashi and doesn't remember having more energy than this. They're still healing, and Naruto will always tell people that they're okay. The darkness isn't so dark whenever you're with someone, and the shadows don't even come close whenever there is sunshine to break the clouds. The scars are scary anymore, and Naruto only trembles lightly at the sound of the Chidori. Kakashi's smile battles and wins against Naruto's nightmares while Naruto's laughter chases away Kakashi's. Naruto hates being on solo missions and prefers teams. They don't think about the days of darkness and silence because they're the past.

Naruto is twenty-four years old now. Seven years have passed since that fateful day of being brought into the light and escaping the darkness. Naruto is excited for every minute that he can spend alive with Kakashi. The silver haired man is now thirty-eight. Naruto noticed that they don't act too different from what they did nine years ago, but life is funny that way. Naruto can't sleep unless he's in Kakashi's arms because the darkness is still there. Naruto had the Kyuubi fad the memories of the darkness because he escaped the darkness. He escaped to the light with Kakashi by his side.

He is alive because he escaped to the light. It was a better choice anyhow because he escaped to safety and life. He sleeps next to Kakashi every night and doesn't worry about searching for a light in the darkness. No, he didn't need it if his escape partner was right next to him. Kakashi wasn't going anywhere, and neither was Naruto. Naruto loved this man that held onto him on the way out of the darkness that was close to consuming them.

**How was that? Hope it was good.**

**I'm planning on writing a longer version of To See the Light and this where it goes back to when they're first given the mission. Don't ask when it'll be out.**

**Til next time, bye-bye.**


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